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• W11899146 abstract "DOES SUCCESS MATTER? It seems as if we've defined two types of people, the successful, and the other kind. How do you rate yourself? I've had problems with such two-valued judgments. Have you? Somewhere in the process of growing up I decided to limit my success. I made a sort of tacit contract with certain peers and role models that my achievements wouldn't surpass theirs. Because others may have done likewise, I'd like to explore how we can annul this unproductive contract made before we had the maturity to decide how we'd perform in the world. For some reason we adopted the habit of below-potential achieving, a habit that continues into our adult years. As part of the same bargain, we also continue to avoid striving for some goals we really want. The Ghosts of Judgments Past We limit ourselves now because of an old contract with those who once judged us wrong in our behavior. For some reason we accepted their criticism. Although those people and conditions don't exist now as they did then, we still carry a powerful image of them inside us. We each hold private memories of those who made us feel small when we did well. Time passes, people grow and change. Yet inside us, the ghosts live on unchanged. Because the circumstances of those old judgments no longer exist, I call them the ghosts of judgments past. When I Succeed, I Feel Guilty Occasionally in life you'll succeed more than you should. Success leaves you feeling uneasy because you you shouldn't surpass your ghosts of judgments past. You don't enjoy your achievements. Compliments embarrass you. You feel it happened by a fluke, not through your ability. You feel guilty and tend to denigrate your success. Just luck, you say. You start thinking superstitiously -- you know your good luck won't last. Once we realize that we've held ourselves back because of the criticisms of past associates, we may feel an urge to blame them. This will do no good. Blaming negates our responsibility for our part in the contract. Today's ghosts arise from abstractions we made long ago. We selected part of the picture and accepted it as the totality, then kept that fragment alive all these years as a definition of how we perform. In this sense, we created our own ghosts. Annulling the Contract If we constructed our ghosts, we can dismantle them. We can annul that obsolete contract and begin successfully achieving our goals. We can aim for goals we really want but had avoided seeking. Some of the techniques I use to change my orientation toward performance come from general semantics. General Semantics and Success General semantics taught me to think carefully about labels, meaning, maps and territories. Do we need to reevaluate what we mean by that label success? What territory does the map success represent? In general semantics, we'd call the term success a higher-order abstraction because it belongs to the verbal world, and has some distance from the world of objects and events. Reifying Success Although you can perceive its results, you can't smell, see, taste, touch, or hear success. Sometimes we act as if we could. In ordinary usage, we try to make the term success perform several tasks, to evaluate things we do, to define the results, to define the doer. General semantics calls the use of one word to mean many things multi-ordinality. The multi-ordinality of success does not encourage clear thinking when we use the term to define how we feel both about ourselves and about our performance. Could we clear up some of its ambiguity? (a) The term success relates to one result of an activity that goes on inside us, the process of evaluating progress toward a goal. (b) We then project that evaluation's outcome onto the external world where it appears as an object, separate from us. (c) We also turn the goal-seeker into an object labeled according to the evaluation's outcome: She's a success. …" @default.
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• W11899146 date "1993-06-22" @default.
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• W11899146 title "Success, Ghosts, and Things" @default.
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