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• W220915170 abstract "Shame-Less Lives, Grace-Full Congregations. By Karen A. McClintock. Herndon, Va.: Alban Institute, 2012. 194 pp. $18.00 (paper). Karen McClintock has written a profound and very readable book on the effect of in the lives of individuals and congregations today. She begins by making an important distinction between and She says guilt is the moral compass and corrective function in the psyche that leads us to notice when we have harmed others with our behavior. Shame, however, is the emotion of self-recrimination that is more likely to weigh us down than spur us to (p. 20). According to McClintock, the purpose of is to restore us to right relationship with another or others, and with oneself. Shame, on the other hand, is a tricky word in English. It has an intrapersonal meaning: have a sense of disgust, or remorse, when feel have done something wrong, harmed another person or myself. It is about a word, thought, or action that regret. In this sense, intrapersonal is similar to guilt, and it is about my own self-awareness and is usually used with the phrase I have a sense of shame. Shame also has an interpersonal meaning. When we others or are shamed by them, the injury moves beyond behavior toward one's very being. McClintock puts it this way: While says, ? made a mistake,' says ? am a mistake.' Shame takes a behavior and slaps it onto my core personhood. become my mistakes (p. 22). Here, and for the most part throughout her book, McClintock is speaking about interpersonal which isolates and stigmatizes. Shame in this sense has no redeeming qualities. McClintock's book is a treasury of personal stories from her experience as a pastor and a psychologist specializing in recovery. She devotes chapters to the dynamics of the shame-blame game, the debilitating effects of comparison shame and perfection shame, mitigating chronic illness shame, and reducing sexual shame. She describes how operates in congregations and how they can move toward becoming gracefull communities. On the individual level, she offers new scripts for those who live with and alternatives for using shaming language with On the corporate level, she talks about how secrets lead to and how churches can offer overs as a way of healing (p. 175). As a consultant and trainer working to promote a multicultural approach to reducing oppressive behaviors and practices by individuals and within communities, have used this guideline for recognizing and valuing differences: It's okay to disagree; it's not okay to blame, or attack self or others. Speaking of when setting guidelines for interaction draws attention to the fact that is related to the way we think about differences. Whether the differences have to do with race, class, age, gender, sexual identity or orientation, or any other variable, is about seeing the difference of the other as less than or seeing my own difference as less than. In its extreme form, we speak or act as though the other persons very being is not okay Relational cultural theory, and other schools of psychology, talk about and guilt. …" @default.
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• W220915170 date "2012-10-01" @default.
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• W220915170 title "Shame-Less Lives, Grace-Full Congregations" @default.
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