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• W2583215835 abstract "Sally’s words characterise common frustrations among divorcees about their personal circumstances and individual, difficult experiences in a relationship being reduced to divorce statistics. A focus on increasing divorce rates pervades a range of writing about the family within the media, politics and policy reports. Increasing divorce rates are also used to formulate broad, generalised theoretical statements that suggest change and decline in, or deinstitutionalisation of, marriage and the family. However, Sally had an alternative version of what was going on in her personal life. For her the importance of her divorce, and the reason she pursued it, lies in the quality of the marriage and family life, which was distressed. Sally had to weigh up the costs of staying in the marriage and ‘pretending everything was okay’ even though it was personally destructive. Considering her options, she negotiated the difficulties of her relationship as best she could: she lived ‘a lie’, ‘pretending everything was okay’; she ‘tried everything to stay in that marriage’ until finally she couldn’t take it anymore and reconsidered how best to manage the situation. Far from her being a demoralised individual, Sally spent considerable time and effort reasoning out the different ways she could balance her own interests with the needs of others; unlike perceptions about selfish mothers and wives, which she resisted, Sally had a clear set of rules about what her partner should not do and what her marriage should not be. Sally legitimises what she did in light of what others think she should have done. Her story shows a high regard for marriage. The tension Sally experienced initially, in considering the divorce, demonstrates the emotional demands of pro-marriage ideology and remaining in a distressed marriage. She legitimated her final decision on the basis of the quality of the marriage and the impact it had on her health." @default.
• W2583215835 created "2017-02-10" @default.
• W2583215835 creator A5024702583 @default.
• W2583215835 date "2016-01-01" @default.
• W2583215835 modified "2023-10-18" @default.
• W2583215835 title "Understanding Families and Personal Relationships" @default.
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• W2583215835 doi "https://doi.org/10.1057/978-1-137-43822-5_3" @default.
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