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• W2939279796 abstract "Katabasis for E. Nicholas Pierce (bio) Just hear me out. I’m going to describea night of little consequence in termsof what occurred, and yet on which I’ve dwelledfor going on three years. “Dwelled” isn’t right;more accurately (but still incorrect),I’ve merely not forgotten it, unlikeso many of our nights together, whichhave coalesced because of their resemblanceto one another, forming in my minda single night that finds us gossipingabout our cohort and in the same breathcomplaining that our lives, as MFAs,are lived on stage, all the while downing winetill we collapse on her misshapen loveseatto watch another screwball comedy. The night in question started out the same,but ended with us stripping by the pool—stripping, but only to our underwear.(Before I go much further, I should saythat at the time we’d yet to even kiss;had, like the couples in those black-and-whiteHollywood movies, made flirtatious banterinto an art, getting around the codeof friendship with suggestive glances andemoji-ridden texts. To tell the truth,it was my fault that we remained just friends;for loving her, I thought, meant giving upon poetry. Faust’s bargain, Yeats’s choice—before that evening I took these for facts,not, as they were, excuses to accountfor the missed chances that make up a life.) [End Page 83] So there we were, half-naked by the pool—half-naked, though she’d skinny-dipped with friendsthe night before, or so she’d claimed upstairs,bringing it up in such an offhand way(as though it were her normal, every-nightbehavior), that I’d dared her on the spotto go with me. No, not to prove her wrong;I did it to confirm that my impressionof her, which couldn’t be more differentfrom how her stories made her come across,was right. I simply couldn’t picture herstripping before an audience, not leastan audience of writers known to flaunttheir most egregious moments in their work,and so was unsurprised but disappointedwhen she stopped short of doing so with me. We’d been discussing, and continued towhile testing the black water with our toes,what separates good writers from great ones.In her opinion, it came down to luck,not passion, time, or effort, as I thought(or wanted to believe), but plain dumb luck:“The dirty secret of all writing programsis that while fundamentals can be taught,true talent can’t be.” She herself could feelher way through lines as musical as thoseI spent days coming up with (if not longer),and since hers were the product, not of thought,but that which animates the hand beforethe mind’s involvement—call it intuition—they sounded less contrived, more true to life.But were they really? Why should truth come easy? We were surrounded on all sides but oneby the imposing towers of her complex.I’d been there probably a hundred times;a hundred times had paced behind the gateuntil I heard her footsteps coming downthe stairs, waiting there to receive the keythat would admit me, that she’d always tossfrom the same landing, always the third floor’s, [End Page 84] and that I’d almost always catch beforeclimbing to her—two stairs at a time, always.But never once, among those hundred visits,had I considered why she tossed, insteadof walked, the key to me . . . Was it a test?I asked myself this question as I watchedher dive in and, because the pool reflecteda star-strewn sky, appear to rise while falling. My eyes then drifted to the lighted windowsthat gave onto apartments just like hers:the same cheap furniture, the same white walls,only without the prints of Frank Sinatraand Judy Garland, not to mention allher other icons (Mary, Christ, the saints)—without, that is, the things that made her her.But who was that? And who was I to say?I was still standing there when she got..." @default.
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• W2939279796 date "2019-01-01" @default.
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• W2939279796 title "Katabasis for E." @default.
• W2939279796 doi "https://doi.org/10.1353/thr.2019.0009" @default.
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