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- W2954235910 abstract "Sweat a Wormhole Andrew Gretes (bio) It felt like time travel, except Dad was still dead. We were all living under the same roof again: Mom, my brother John, and me. John said it felt more like the end of our adult universe, with only a decade separating the Big Bang (moving out) from the Big Crunch (moving in). He said, “Beth, you’re getting a PhD in physics. How is this not obvious to you?” It wasn’t. I was studying entropy. I knew the universe was going to end in a whimper. My old bedroom smelled illegal. Mom was using it as an indoor greenhouse, growing racks of microgreens under red and blue LEDs. Basil and mustard and watercress reached upward, entwined, basking in a purple glow. It looked like a plant rave. Mom taped a poster of Wonder Woman to the door. This was Mom’s way of signaling that the bedroom would be mine as soon as I helped her move the greenhouse to the living room. “Wonder Woman,” that’s what Mom used to call me. It had nothing to do with being an empowered, Amazonian badass. Mom loved to shake her head and narrate my life: “Wonder Woman—always wondering what she’s doing . . .” John moved in after his wife Susan left. He took his divorce like a bag of yellow leaves dumped curbside. He said, “Susan was prudent. She sold my spouse-stock while it was still—” The sentence ended there. Clarity prevented John from saying “high.” John was in a two-year life slump. It began with Dad getting T-boned by a firetruck. One collision led to another: Dad’s brain smashed into his skull, his heart into his sternum, spleen into spine. When we got to the hospital, Dad was just a body. We all took it bad, but John took it the worst. Mom said the plumbing got clogged in John’s heart. A few months after the funeral, John’s employer merged with another tech company, downsized, and let John go. According to John, his severance was done in poetry. “We’re GONna HAVE to LET you GO.” Iambic tetrameter. John was the kind of guy who, in high school, scribbled android love sonnets on bathroom stalls. After being laid off, John abandoned tech jobs and picked up leatherworking. Belts, wallets, holsters. He worked by commission. Mom was his biggest client. It was only a matter of time before Susan filed for divorce and John melted. Mom picked up her son as if his marriage were an extended daycare. My homecoming was less dramatic. I reclaimed my childhood bedroom because I was cheap. Mom lived a half hour from Penn State, where I was [End Page 96] in my second year of graduate study. I worked on Mondays and Wednesdays as a teaching assistant for classes in Thermal Physics. I skulked on Tuesdays and Thursdays in subterranean laboratories, zapping tight-lipped matter with neutron beams. ________ It didn’t take long for things to get weird. I had only been sleeping in my old bedroom for a week when Mom confided that she knew what was really wrong with John. I braced myself. Mom was a born-again hippie. She swore by energy healers and essential oils and crystals attuned to detoxifying frequencies. Where other people saw reality, Mom saw indentations. There was always something nudging and knocking underneath. Mom informed me that the soul of her aborted sister had taken refuge in John’s liver. This was news to me. ________ John became a literalist. It felt sudden, like the flick of a light switch. One day, John understood figurative language. The next day, he didn’t. We were in the car when it happened. I said (mid-conversation), “I see what you mean.” John paused and replied, “Meaning isn’t visual . . .” The only thing that prevented me from smacking him right then and there was the look on his face. I saw traces of pity, confusion, and Spock. John was at the crossroads where depression meets alien. I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless. I felt guilty. I felt irritated..." @default.
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- W2954235910 date "2019-01-01" @default.
- W2954235910 modified "2023-10-17" @default.
- W2954235910 title "Sweat a Wormhole" @default.
- W2954235910 doi "https://doi.org/10.1353/ner.2019.0061" @default.
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