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• W2994315529 abstract "Nonie Talks about Lola: Winfield, West Virginia, 1959 Jayne Anne Phillips (bio) There’s choice but no choice. Kids deal with what is, and take one shape or another. Whatever I had, Lola wanted. First she wanted to be bigger, tougher, stronger, like me. I was five years older, the one she looked up to. Our mother always seemed more a child than we were, quiet, all her edges turned down the way Dad liked them. Lola wanted to read my Bible instead of hers, my bigger, heavier school books, but she only pretended to read, her eyes skimming the shapes of the words so she could turn the page at the right time. She’d sing the hymns I hated until I hated them more, and our father let me stop singing and just play the piano for Lola. She performed, even then; she could only see herself in the way people looked back at her. I cooked the food and Lola served it. She lit stubs of candles and lay flowers alongside the plates, all in the service of the Lord. I did the work, and she carried off the sleight of hand, drew Dad’s gaze away from me, away from our mother. Dad worked maintenance for the City after he left the mines, but Lola would shine his shoes as though he was preaching all day at the Temple instead of emptying trash and waxing floors. Later he did preach, and she’d sit up front with me nights, working her fingertips deeper under my thigh. She’d gaze at him, nodding and mouthing the right phrases, and move her fingers under me, tickling and poking me to prove what a good show she put on. Dad was convinced she was a kind of prodigy, that she had the spirit in her. He said he didn’t need to treat her like a child. He’d shut them up in his room and make her read Revelations to him while he prayed. My mother and I were forbade entrance, but he told us we could stand at the closed door and listen to Lola speak the Holy Word. I saw them once, through the window from outside, when he’d left the curtain open. She sat on the bed stock still, reading from the small white Bible our mother had carried at her wedding, while he knelt before her and clasped her knees to his chest, his head bowed [End Page 12] on her bare legs. She was young enough that her skirt came just to his forehead. Her voice never faltered. Years later, when we could talk about it, she swore that she kept him from carrying through. Now I know what it cost her. For a while he even rented her out as a dowser to farmers trying to find water. He’d drive her through the county all day on a Saturday, and she’d walk across fields with a forked willow dousing rod, the men trailing her. Once she showed me with a yardstick, in our room, how she went into a trance and held the rod so it seemed to jerk and move of its own accord. She struck it lucky a few times, then began to miss, and got out of it by telling Dad the work gave her powerful headaches, that she couldn’t be clear when the men who paid them money weren’t favored by the Lord. She was ten years old at the time. Amen, she’d say at Temple. Even then, her mouth was like a flower with damp petals. Her white skin and that red hair. Our father made her wear a hat or a scarf to Temple: our mother’s hats, her frayed scarves. Lola tied them on tight and covered her hair completely, like it was her idea. She’d get swept away, locked into this passion or that, even if it was Dad’s borrowed passion, temporary, and ridiculed when we were alone in the bedroom we shared. It was our mother who scared Lola, sitting and looking out windows, sitting in the pew at Temple, so silent she only moved..." @default.
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• W2994315529 title "Nonie Talks about Lola: Winfield, West Virginia, 1959" @default.
• W2994315529 doi "https://doi.org/10.1353/aph.2009.a258512" @default.
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