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• W303742359 abstract "The Betrayal of Self. Arno Gruen Grove Press, New York, $16.95, 1988 In his psychoanalytical study of human behavior, Arno Gruen demonstrates how a child is forced into destruction of true self in a quest for power by being deprived of basic love and security in mother-child relationship. He rejects accepted idea of autonomy as the freedom of constantly to prove to ourselves and others how strong and superior we but defines it as having access to lifeaffirming emotions, to feelings of joy, sorrow, pain-in short, to a sense of being truly alive. Gruen sees parents projecting their own learned hostility and aggression onto their children, mistaking their distressed behaviors, which are really symptoms of unmet needs, for defiance and ill-humor. Instead of responding to their child's feelings of helplessness with empathy and comfort, parents use their physical strength or moral power to control child. From this experience child learns that helplessness is contemptuous and power is only escape from painful feelings of vulnerability and self-contempt. That child spends a lifetime fleeing a world full of emotions, fearing experience of inadequacy, pain, despair, fear of failure, and rage. Blocked then are feelings of joy, ecstasy, courage, and grief. By repressing their spontaneous reactions, which are too threatening to parents who are afraid of their pain, vulnerability and self-contempt, children adapt to living with such parents by denying their own suffering and suppressing their inner voice. Dr. Gruen believes our culture mistakenly overvalues intelligence at expense of passion, enthusiasm, and openness. Performanceoriented child-rearing precludes type of maternal care that makes it possible for a child to develop in an emotionally integrated way. Instead of true independence or autonomy, this creates a pseudoindependence which blocks off children's emotional life-joy, sorrow, high spirits, and despair and creates an unfeeling intellectuality that in extreme case leads to sadism and evil. Gruen believes that men are more severely affected by our power culture than women. Men are required to denounce all vulnerability as weakness. Women, in affirming a man's power, put him in a bind: he is loved for proving himself, not for what he is as a human being. Then in case of not fulfilling this bargain, rage in both partners results. If instead, feeling vulnerable were permissible, result might be a recognition of limits of one's influence and ability to accept interdependence-with men and women and children on an equal plane. He argues that women are in a better position to escape power trap through creative possibility of childbirth and childrearing. He points out that many women are receptive to their child's helplessness, integrating it with their own vitality. Because they are not threatened by their child's vulnerability, neither is child. Maternal empathy furthers child's development through dependable and appropriate response to his needs. This happy interaction reinforces mother's own feelings of adequacy, strength and happiness. Gruen does not further develop outcome of such a healthy mother-child interaction. I infer that he assumes even such a good start in life may be subjugated to power struggle of parents and later to realities of a power-based society. …" @default.
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• W303742359 date "1989-01-01" @default.
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• W303742359 title "The Betrayal of the Self" @default.
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