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• W4323637068 abstract "Yael C. Sivi and Yosh C. Beir prepare their audience (leaders, employees, managers, and coaches) for a lifelong journey of “personal transformation and professional evolution” (ix). They approach this never-ending pilgrimage to authenticity with clear and creative instructions. The table of contents provides the reader with 11 options for “choose-your-own-adventure” heuristic tours of typical relationship quandaries. In the introduction, the authors offer a packing list of 13 general practices for developing new pathways to healthy personal and professional relationships. Ingeniously, they then feature a glossary of terms, just after the introduction and before the coaching narratives, thus encouraging the reader actually to read through what is commonly an addendum and only referred to as needed. This glossary serves as a legend for reference as readers locate themselves on the odyssey of self-discovery. Now equipped and oriented, the reader can choose which chapter suits individual needs for personal and professional growth. The placement of the glossary prepares the reader, offering a conceptual understanding.Each chapter provides a travelogue to growth through one common, work-related dilemma such as: “I feel like an imposter; I take care of everyone but myself; I know I should address this conflict, but I don’t; I have to be perfect” (ix–x). At the end of each chapter, Sivi and Beir offer avenues to carry the reader through each particular predicament in the form of reflections, practices, and experiments. Because the pilgrimage to psychological maturity is rife with obstacles and extends from adolescence to senescence, the authors’ travel guide ought to be well-thumbed by those who are ready to “adult.”In the Introduction, Sivi and Beir immediately orient the reader to potential pathways for “transformation and professional evolution” (1). They offer a quiver of 13 practices for journeying toward a more meaningful life, through mindset shift rather than superficial behavioral change. The practices relate to common interruptions in the cycle of experience (introjection, transference, retroflection, projection, etc.), useful Gestalt concepts, and the stages of development taken from Robert Kegan’s theory of adult development, and from transactional analysis theory. Thirteen is a significant number of practices to internalize and then embody when one is in the depths of a dilemma. I believe, however, that readers will experience themselves in the descriptions and be able to choose one to a few practices for focused work in each phase of their journey. I found myself naturally creating mnemonics and questions for each practice that could be used as a touchstone in the face of a dilemma. Some examples: Start Where You Are (SWYA): I imagine this idea as the “You Are Here” icon on a map. SWYA is based on the “paradoxical theory of change”; “the only chance we have to change our lives begins with acknowledging, accepting, and experiencing where we are and how we actually feel” (5). Then, and only then, can we move towards a new way of being. So the questions I will ask myself are: How am I stuck in this current situation? Who can I be to make this situation take a more useful/healthy direction?Take Inventory of the Voices in your Head (Talking Heads): Sivi and Bier ask the reader to take “roll call” (6) by naming all the voices in their head, determining the perspective and validity of those voices. In the face of the Talking Heads taking over during a difficult situation, I might ask myself: Who is guiding this leg of the tour? Me or one of the Talking Heads? Which Talking Head? What is my new narrative?Notice when the Past is Present (PIP): Sivi and Beir offer this question: “Does this dynamic remind [me] of anything from [my] past?” (7). I amend it to ask: Am I going down a habitual path? What is the road less traveled?Take Back Your Eyes (TBE): Frederick Perls is suggested to have said: “What you think of me is none of my business” (7). We are encouraged to “take back our . . . senses . . . and return to ourselves.” When I notice myself projecting, the questions that come to mind for me are: How am I imagining others seeing me? What are the “treatments” on offer in the spa of self-love and self-respect?Stand up to your Inner Critic (SIC): Whose voice is the bully’s? Does the bully really make me feel safe? Instead of criticizing, what is the litany of reasons why “I got this”? (8).Practice the Power of the Pause (PPP): “We pause so that we can make a choice and simply not go on autopilot” (9). Pausing allows us to take into account SWYA, TALKING HEADS, PIP, TBE, and SIC. In the moment, can I take a moment? Often, when in the face of challenging relationship experiences, it is easy to react and travel down habitual paths of relating (PIP). My response to these 13 practices is that I would like a laminated card to pull out when I PPP to remind and encourage me that there are healthy directions to move forward.Sivi and Bier make an intentional effort to reduce jargon; thus, the above-mentioned glossary of terms prepares the reader with the conceptual understanding necessary for the subsequent developmental stories. This intentional offering of a legend for the stories that unfold in the 11 ensuing chapters is brilliant. Before readers embark on their own developmental journey in the chapters, they have been twice introduced to the Gestalt and other psychological terms and theories that underpin the authors’ work: the paradoxical theory of change is encompassed in SWYA; introjection in Talking Heads; transference in PIP; projection in TBE; retroflection in SIC. The other lifelong practices discussed in the introduction present ideas of unfinished Gestalt, confluence, egotism, deflection, theory of adult development, and transactional analysis theory. These and other relevant concepts are then named and engagingly explained in the glossary.Focusing on work as the “laboratory for personal and interpersonal growth” (xi), each of 11 chapters offers a relatable travelogue, synthesized from Sivi’s work with multiple clients who have experienced similar difficulties at work, and uses those stressors as launch pads for emotional and psychological maturation. The narratives are categorized into common introjects, for example, “I’m just not good enough; I don’t want to play politics; I’m their manager, but I want to be their friend; I’m scared of my boss” (ix–x). Rather than read the entire book in sequence, readers can choose which story might be most supportive in their current work/personal growth journey. Each narrative is punctuated by the curiosity of Sivi as a coach: the questions she asks her clients, their answers, transformative Gestalt experiments, references to useful metaphors, clearly explained Gestalt concepts, adult development theory, and other psychology and development concepts. Following each chapter are reflections, practices, and experiments that support readers in finding, understanding, and moving through the deeper emotional or psychological origins that precipitate their own work-related stress. Experiencing the tacks of others who have navigated the rocky shores of their own personal and professional development normalizes similar challenges and provides an optimistic stance.Sivi and Beir’s goal that the readers “see themselves in one or more of the stories, and get a clearer understanding of the emotional and psychological terrain that might lie underneath their professional landscape and how to work through it in healthy and productive way” (xiii) is realized in a jargon-free and engaging writing style. Without question, “whatever is unresolved in one’s emotional or psychological life has a reliable way of manifesting in how we relate to others” (15). So, if readers are ready for deep and meaningful change, Sivi and Beir’s practices and narratives clearly invite them to choose to recognize the difficulties in their relationships, create self-awareness regarding their habitual ways of being that might create these difficulties, and then change “from the inside out” (1)." @default.
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• W4323637068 date "2023-04-01" @default.
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• W4323637068 title "Growing Up at Work: How to Transform Personally, Evolve Professionally, and Lead Authentically" @default.
• W4323637068 doi "https://doi.org/10.5325/gestaltreview.27.1.0079" @default.
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