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- W4383619483 abstract "To Feed, to Nurture, to Protect Andrew Lam (bio) Click for larger view View full resolution IN THE MID-1960S LAM’S MOTHER RAN AN ORPHANAGE IN SADEC IN THE MEKONG DELTA, WHEN HIS FATHER WAS STATIONED THERE. Remembering his mother, who loved and protected without wavering, writer Andrew Lam also recounts a page from Vietnam’s history. [End Page 16] I have lectured at many universities, and I can usually speak without notes, but on this occasion, the saddest in my life, I don’t think I can speak a word without having written it down. But first, my family and I want to thank everyone who gathered here today to honor our mother. I am sure she fed many of you from one time or another, and hugged a few, and told many a good story, and to a small privileged few, she might have scolded you, telling you to behave and to be good . . . Many years ago one of my mentors, Professor Franz Schurman, and I were discussing the Vietnam War and its horrors. He said something along this line: “Men stand at the ready for battle, at the door of death, but women . . . they stand at the tree of life.” I knew he was talking metaphorically, that these are archetypes of the sexes that form our world, but I of course immediately thought of my father and my mother. My father fought in the Vietnam War for twenty-five years, fought until its bitter end. He saw enough death and destruction to last several lifetimes. And my mother? She grew up in north Vietnam and experienced war and famine, and then she was part of a mass exodus south in 1954 that divided Vietnam in half, followed by a long, drawn-out civil war. Born in 1932 to a well-to-do family in Thái Bình, Vietnam, my mother remembered peasants who came into her city during the famine of 1945, begging for food. She was twelve going on thirteen. Since her father had safekept a lot of rice, my mother and her older brother decided to make porridge. They made thin gruel, and in the morning they scooped as much as they could from their big family pot and fed those who begged near their house. They kept doing it for weeks. My mother saw dead bodies being scooped up each day on the streets and being carted away. She saw a child sitting up on a pile of dead bodies only to lie back down to die. She saw the police whipping a crazed woman who ate parts of a child under a bridge. But in her retelling, it was the porridge-making that she remembered the most, and the satisfaction she got from being able to feed the hungry. To feed, to nurture, to protect. To react to harsh reality with kindness and generosity—this is the very essence of my mother. It made sense, then, that when she moved south and married my father, an army officer of South Vietnam who became a general when I was born, she would wield her powers as a general’s wife to do something for the poor and the needy. It was in Sa Dec, deep in the Mekong Delta, where she built an orphanage. She fundraised and cajoled and coaxed the powerful and the rich in the region to donate resources and money and land, and soon there it was: two buildings to house orphans and a kitchen in the middle. I remember how those kids kept calling her mẹ, Vietnamese for Mother. And at four, I remember weeping. “But she’s not your mother,” I would yell. “She’s my mother.” Of course, she was in many ways the closest thing to being a mother to those kids. She housed and fed them. She ate and sang with them. She sent them to school. Over time she even managed to send some to higher education, and two even made it to Switzerland, on scholarship, near the end of the war. And yes, one later became a doctor in America—the only person, my mother pointed out to me, who called her..." @default.
- W4383619483 created "2023-07-09" @default.
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- W4383619483 date "2023-07-01" @default.
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- W4383619483 title "To Feed, to Nurture, to Protect" @default.
- W4383619483 doi "https://doi.org/10.1353/wlt.2023.a901369" @default.
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