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• W48081324 abstract "By Betsy Crane & Jesse Crane-Seeber “I have chosen to narrate a history. Closer to myth than argument, it is nonetheless to be distinguished from myth on two levels: first because it is a true story (which myth could, but need not be), and second because my main interest is less a historian’s than a moralist’s; the present is more important to me than the past.” – T. Todorov (1992, p. 4) The question “So Mom, Why is it that even the coolest girls date the jerks?” This question from Jesse at age 13 prompted an initial response from Betsy about the social construction of gender roles and the effect on sexuality and relationships, and a curiosity about the question that continues for us both. Why is it that all too often girls and women choose men who “aren’t good for them?” Is it, at some level, the promise of status or economic security? In Betsy’s generation, it was referred to as the “nice guys finish last” syndrome, as if that was a fact of nature. That was just “the way it is.” But it’s not. There are social and historical explanations for why we do what we do, feel what we feel, and have the attractions we do. As males and females we carry out our lives within the roles created for us by our cultures, for entirely understandable reasons given our social conditioning and the systems we find ourselves in. The ways that we “are” men and women, the ways that these identities are “performed” have come under increasing scrutiny over the past 30 years, being studied by observation, cross-cultural analyses, and through an examination of the development of gender roles through time. It is this latter analysis that Betsy used to explain to 13-year-old Jesse why the relationships he observed in his middle school were so irrational. Why do intelligent, assertive girls overlook sweet, caring guys to date “jerks,” the males whose commitment to traditional masculinity makes them popular with other males, but who treat girls and women poorly. In order to answer Jesse’s question, and to write this piece, we have" @default.
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• W48081324 modified "2023-09-27" @default.
• W48081324 title "The Four Boxes of Gendered Sexuality: Good Girl/Bad Girl &Tough Guy/Sweet Guy 1" @default.
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