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• W720757 abstract "The breakup of the American family - six out of 10 marriages now end in separation or divorce - finally seems to be causing alarm among nearly all sectors of Barbara Dafoe Whitehead's recent article in the Atlantic affirms that the dissolution of two-parent families dramatically undermines our society. William Bennett, senior fellow of cultural studies at The Heritage Foundation, has documented profound social regression over the last generation: divorces have tripled; teen suicide rates have tripled; illegitimacy quadrupled; child abuse has jumped five-fold; violent crime soared seven-fold. However, the family-values debate has been sterile because both liberals and conservatives point almost exclusively to the federal government to help strengthen families - in the form of tax deductions, better child-support enforcement, and Head Start programs for preschoolers. But the central reason for the dissolution of two-parent families is that couples no longer marry for life, and the federal government can do nothing to strengthen marriage commitment. Historically, that has been the job of organized religion, and it is doing a poor job indeed. Blessing Machine Indeed, the church is part of America's divorce problem. Three-fourths, of all first marriages are blessed by pastors, priests, or rabbis. Yet, according to a recent University of Wisconsin study measuring divorce and separation, 60 percent of new marriages are failing. Clearly, organized religion has access to most young couples, but it acts as a blessing machine that has no more impact on those getting married than a Justice of the Peace. Too many churches have simply become factories with a rented chapel, a hired pastor, and an organist. Most churches prepare couples for elaborate weddings - costing $16,000 on average in 1992 - not for life-long marriages. On the other hand, the very access most churches have to most marriages is also a source of hope. Some churches really are doing an outstanding job of preparing couples for marriage or of sustaining existing marriages. They are the exception, however, and the complicity of organized religion in family breakup first must be understood. The failure of organized religion has occurred on moral and practical levels - both in terms of church teaching on sex and sexuality and in real-life preparation for marriage and support for existing marriages. On a range of sexual issues, too many churches have succumbed to the modern ethos of free-wheeling, individualistic sexual expression - almost anything goes. Despite the official teaching from Rome, for example, only a third of all Catholics believe premarital sex is wrong, a full 58 percent consider it harmless. Mainline Protestants also closely mirror society's sexual mores. Among Lutherans, for example, only 38 percent consider premarital sex harmful, while 55 percent condone it. Even the country's largest conservative Protestant denomination - the Southern Baptists - disapproves of premarital sex by only a slim majority, 53 percent. Chastity Pays Dividends Attitudes like these among the church-going make defending the case for chastity sound pretty quaint. But with over 1 million teenagers getting pregnant each year, it is clear that our children are not learning the discipline needed for life-long commitment. Moreover, there is clear sociological evidence that chastity pays dividends toward a lasting marriage: A study by the National Center for Health Statistics and the University of Maryland showed that those who are sexually active before marriage are 71 percent more likely to divorce than those who are virgins on their wedding night. The religious community is equally, if not more ambivalent about unmarried couples who are living under the same roof. Catholic priests tend to sidestep the issue in premarital counseling sessions, as does much of the Protestant community. …" @default.
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• W720757 title "Veil of Tears: The Church Is Part of Our Divorce Problem - and Solution" @default.
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